Wandering On

I know why people believe in the path of God when all else fails. One clutches at the divine straw as he is the last UNKNOWN in this world, and therefore represents the last hope when it seems that there is little else in LIFE. What one doesn't know, one could hope. Such bleakness and despair.

I am confronted with the problems on self cowardice, of not daring to take the plunge when it is clear that the present is not good enough. But then, when you are feeling so low, how far lower could you sink? There odds are in favour of hope and renewal although the pain of existence could choke the tenously rekindled flame of life easily with a casual snuff. My living heart, every occasionally roused from slumber has many tears of loneliness. It is a lonely and scary world out there. Survival is not without its perils. While I am not in favour of battles, I dont wanna die before I am dead. I dont want to waste my life, of the things that I have.

I know I must plough on, and while I am at it, I might as well make it good. Because no one else would do it but me. And apart from my parents, no one else would love me unconditionally but myself. I have to fight it for me. Isnt it ironic that the battle for life is fought within one's soul? And as much as I would like it otherwise, no one could do it but me......

Uncertainty of life

Life is uncertain, no one knows what is going to happen tomorrow, so we can only make the best of what we have today. Is that real nature? Is existence just a cycle of regenerated lifetimes, of people and by people who will never be closer to know when the END will come ? Is there an end to existence ?

What does a smart person do in this world if money and possessions are not the most important thing in life? What is the best course of action that maximises opportunity and experience? Worldly literature could only talk about love, sex, power, money and fame to incite one's feeling of invincibility in life. Is there something else out there to offer us?

The truth is that there is little else offered out there besides the Earth and other inhabitants of this world, unless one believes in the promise of Heaven. There is nothing else to be found on this Earth that you can claim to your own. You are just renting a space on this world by paying the price of existence. There is nothing new that have been left undiscovered on this world, and even if you think that you can wallow in self glorification over your greatest personal experience, your loves, your orgasms and your greatest moments, the truth is that they are common to the human experience. What you think is unique is not that unique. You are just a passing entity, and to the earth, you are replacable.

This is the human experience. You are left on this planet, with little else out there and you just have to survive with the other people. What do you do then ? What do you want to achieve? You are left with LIFE. Existence is lonely, but ubiquitous. Life prevails. Admittedly, society and man-made institutions may have a different aspirations due to interests of self perpetuation and we have to give back a little from all the amenities that we have been enjoying all along. Life, air, land and people, there are not all free. You have to give something back to the system that nurtures you into what you are. From a personal perspective though, why remain longer than necessary? What are you doing here on Earth, for your own benefit?

The struggle to BE is very tough. It is hard to be you or to be something that life expects out of you. It is hard to decide what to do in life besides to go with the flow, and just trying to survive in an acceptable manner. It is hard to attach any sense of accomplishment to the process of survival. You live, you survive, congratulations, and now it is time to die. Start over, again please..... yet another story unfolds.